Officer: But Herr General, I've not even greeted you yet! Bob Crane starred as Colonel Robert E. Hogan, coor. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Why don't you call headquarters and let them send over an expert. HOCHSTETTER GETS THE DROP ON THE KILLER, IN MAJOR HOCHSTETTER, GESTAPO H ow's that for a provocative title? Col. Robert E. Hogan: You're the same bunch of guys that put him in business. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Not like you. Radio Host: [Hogan pretends to be a Nazi sympathizer to get on German radio and discredit a propagandist] You read Mein Kampf, I believe. Cut the wire. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Enough! Hochstetter meanwhile has called Himmler, explains the situation and receives orders to arrest Klink's "dear friend" Richter, to which Klink insists that he hardly knows him and that he has no dear friends, a fact which Hochstetter is willing to believe. Hans Georg Schultz: You forgot pigs By the way who are we talking about? Col. Wilhelm Klink: That is exactly what I was going to say. Hogan's Heroes!: This is WHY Major Wolfgang Hochstetter Was - YouTube When the Allies march in the front gate, it'll go a lot easier for you if you're standing there with a bouquet of pansies. I was the top man in my unit. You will all stay away from that rocket. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Cpl. General von Rauscher: Hochstetter, I am in charge of this project. He is our witness. [Klink brags that he is in tip-top physical shape]. Take him away, Klink. Oh, unforgettable. You have chosen the most dangerous man in all of Germany as a witness. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Except, major, I quite clearly had no part in this whole affair. No one has ever escaped from Stalag 13. He has saved us all. I have given it many hours of intelligent thought. Andrew Carter: Hey Thank you! Publish Translation Find a translation for this quote in other languages: Select another language: - Select - (Chinese - Simplified) Coming from the Gestapo, that sounds very funny. What is this man doing here? Yes, Major Hochstetter. We've got him. Sgt. Cpl. Company Credits Col. Wilhelm Klink: I distinctly told you Wednesday, not Tuesday. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: You give a birthday party for a prisoner? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: I assume you have set up a strong guard for the plane? I'm sorry you missed it, Major, it was a great party. Col. Robert E. Hogan: That's the hotel, all right. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe: Could also mean heavy equipment. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Col. Wilhelm Klink: That is exactly what I was going to say, General. Colonel Klink: Schultz, into the cooler they go. Rate this quote: 0.0 / 0 votes 207 Views Share your thoughts on this Hogan's Heroes's quote with the community: 0 Comments Notify me of new comments via email. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Where are the two prisoners who tried to escape? Peter Newkirk: I'm going to need a few things, you know. I have? Major Hans Kuehn: Very interesting. Sgt. I won't say a word. Uh, did you come on military business, or is this a social call? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Even if the wrong man comes along, you'd better grab him. Cpl. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Now, Klink, last night, not too far from here, a convoy was blown up, almost totally destroyed. SCHULTZ May I ask, are we deserting to Switzerland or Sweden? You are undermining my confidence. Cpl. "Hogan's Heroes Quotes." Take them away. Hogan's HerosHogan meets Major Hochstetter for 1st timeWhat is this man doing here I told you. Not sufficient entertainment, perhaps. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: He isn't going anywhere with the information, is he? Bad scene, Major. In the middle of World War II you give yourself a birthday party? No, wait a minute. Mental fitness - that's another. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Ja, I believe I have. Sardines? And I am operating *under direct authority of the German General Staff*. Anchors Aweigh, Men of Stalag 13 Happy Birthday, Adolf The Gold Rush Hello, Zollie It Takes a Thief. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, you should have been there. Col. Robert E. Hogan: This little caper of yours better come off. Col. Wilhelm Klink: An award? I'm sorry you missed it, major, it was a great party. Perhaps, someday, as a fallen hero, I shall be carried off to Valhalla across the saddle of a beautiful German war maiden, such as you my dear Helga. Col. Robert E. Hogan: So what? Traitors, all of them. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [on holiday at the ski lodge] Well, I'm here to forget all about the war for awhile. He'll do for them what he's done for you. She's clever, forceful, efficient, thrifty. What is going on there? Crazy credits In the credits, there is a 'Lieutenant Rosen' listed. Col. Robert E. Hogan Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Major Hochstetter, Herr General, in charge of security here, and you're all much too close to this rocket. Back! But, that's not the worst thing we did. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: It is about his defense counsel. Everybody thinks I'm a social butterfly. Hans Georg Schultz: He called you a liar! Sgt. Release Dates [Major Hochstetter returns to Stalag 13, demanding that Klink surrender the man in hiding. Col. Robert E. Hogan: But you'll have to eat it there. Cpl. *What is this man doing here?*. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Carter? Back! | Hans Georg Schultz: Don't they drink tea in France? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What is it at your camp, Klink? [a milestone quotation for the series - Klink admits to Schultz and Hogan]. Col. Wilhelm Klink: I'm at your disposal, Captain. Mix 'em up. Hans Georg Schultz: When I say 'Achtung' that means that you all are to SNAP to attention. It's my niece, Frieda, and she's marrying Count Von Hertzel. And I believe a full corporal. The boys think I'm a hero. Sgt. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: This is the message? Schultz: Me send for you? Col. Wilhelm Klink: [reading a list of invited people to the meeting] It doesn't have the name "Colonel Klink" in there. Gertrude Linkmeyer: I would like to get married again if the right man came along. Now let me leave you with this warning, 'While the cats away the mice better not play'. Firing? I saved you some cake. Writers can stir the mind, but they can't direct it. You've got to get that mixture just right. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe: [skims through a collection of maps and finds Pittsburgh] Pittsburgh? We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. : General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Do you think I would ever let a Burkhalter marry a Klink? Sgt. Marya: Major Hochstetter is a genius, Putzie. Who is that woman? Howard Caine - Wikipedia Sgt. Witness? The Geneva Convention - not a word. Sgt. Col. Robert E. Hogan: It's the least you can do, considering. Wild horses and torture could not drag one syllable out of me. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Cpl. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: I know, and it still mystifies me. If he asks questions, do not act as if you know anything. You are now Big Chief Running Bear Who Goes Swift And Sure To Beer Garden. | You know nothing! Sgt. : Col. Robert E. Hogan: If you stood any closer to them, your Iron Cross would get rusty. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Who is that woman? Hans Georg Schultz: Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. Everybody out, out, out, out, out, out, out! It is against the rules. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [Zagoskin hands him his notebook] Until I clear you, you will please stop inventing. It was three years ago, in November I think. You're pulling my leg. [puts her arms around him, kisses him], Lady Leslie Chitterly: Come, Robert. The Fuhrer? You know that guy, Hitler, who wrote it? Back, back, all of you. Sgt. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Not even if I said you were the greatest military mind in the Third Reich? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Web. Who's worried about firing? Col. Wilhelm Klink: I never said anything about Friday. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Yeah, I could not believe it myself. [a German guard is fending off POW Newkirk from a restricted area]. Tremendous psychological factor there, chaps. Andrew Carter: We haven't got time Our what? : Now, Klink, where do these lines cross? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, you have nothing to worry about, sir. Peter Newkirk: [looking at the burnt money in his hand] It's the story of my life. Oh, they're great goose-steppers, but nothing on the dance floor. Sgt. If they get you, I am next. Sgt. : Col. Wilhelm Klink: [Klink thinks Burkhalter is there to make him marry his sister Gertrude] Well, you see, sir, this is very difficult for me to say, but, uh, I feel in my heart that I am not worthy of Gertrude. I sent her the kiss by mail? Instead of your party, I'll be soaking my knee". My men gave it to me. Imagine the morale boost to those young flying chaps, setting down in dear old England between a carpet of crimson geraniums. Until I clear you, you will please stop inventing. He took me for 50 marks. Col. Robert E. Hogan: To buy something. He studied under Colonel Klink Bloopers [] Major Hochstetter says that Hammelburg (near Stalag 13) has been chosen because of its proximity to Dsseldorf, but his geography is way off -- Hammelburg is 250KM from Dsseldorf. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [trying to find the three scientist] I'll send to headquarters in Hammelburg. Roll Call! Andrew Carter: [dressed as Klink] Maybe you better run through it once more. I danced every dance with her, while Major Hochstetter was sitting there with sauerbraten on his face. Carter: [answers the phone in a mock-German accent] I'm sorry, you've got the wrong number. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [Outraged] Or, you could be Big Fat Schultz Who Goes Swift And Sure To The Russian Front! Hans Georg Schultz: Why? Col. Wilhelm Klink: All potato rations are cut in half for ten days. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Well, you could have asked Lily to dance with him at least once. He's made you an honorary Chief of the Sioux tribe. Back, back, all of you. General von Rauscher Col. Wilhelm Klink: You are the prosecutor? Therefore Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Parody Displacement: Hogan's Heroes is a parody of WWII POW films like Stalag 17, The Great Escape, and The Bridge on the River Kwai. That way we will get the full impact on public opinion. Col. Robert E. Hogan: LeBeau, my boy, I'm holding you in reserve. [Hogan has ordered Newkirk to fake a toothache]. Back to Stalag 13. Sgt. No matter who you're calling it's still the wrong number because I don't even have a phone! Col. Wilhelm Klink: Hogan thinks he can outsmart me. : Major Byron Buckles: If I'm going to die, at least let it be in a close-up. NOTHING IS WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DUKE OF YORK! Col. Wilhelm Klink: One of the radio detector units has picked up a wireless sending coded messages. [Major Hochstetter returns to Stalag 13, demanding that Klink surrender [spying on the equipment guarded closely by German soldiers]. Back to Stalag 13. Colonel Klink: Those prisoners will be released over my dead body! PDF HOGAN'S HEROES: ESCAPE - SimplyScripts Who am I? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Now, is there anything I can get you, General, before you go to sleep - perhaps a glass of warm milk? You've already figured how to turn this to your advantage. Traitors, all of you. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Then what's the bad news? Major Hochstetter has found a U.S. Armed Forces button a. Sgt. Andrew Carter: Let's get out of here! Let's knock out that bridge. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Some of the gang back in Berlin. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, how is dear wife the charming and delightful Fran General? Can't hold their liquor. Curiously enough, Hochstetter couldn't have been a Major in the SS, simply because that rank didn't exist there. Even if I say so myself, when I turn on the charm, I can be irresistible. Kissing prisoners is verboten! Col. Robert E. Hogan: [as German general] Take this man's name, Putzi! *I am responsible for security here! Baroness Lili von Schlichter: Colonel, I will be safe here? Colonel Sitzer: We want you to keep it a secret until the presentation. Who is this man and what is he doing here! Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: The gestapo never arrests the wrong man. He doesn't have a clue. | Sgt. : Col. Wilhelm Klink: [hanging up the phone] General Burkhalter, I'm sorry to say your sister has been kidnapped. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: You will be shot. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Physical fitness is one thing. A child could do that. Hans Georg Schultz: I could use a few letters myself. Cpl. General von Rauscher [while safecracking, the phone rings in Klink's office and Carter answers]. Cpl. Col. Robert E. Hogan: The party was for me, sir. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: That's my wife. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [draws gun, pointing it to LeBeau's head] Take your choice, huh: waltz, foxtrot, or shot as an escaping prisoner. Goering is a fat rat fink. I'm color-blind, you know. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Traitors, all of you. Col. Wilhelm Klink: There's one nice thing about his being here. Alf the Artist: [after coming up out of the emergency tunnel] Ah, thank you very much. What is this bungler doing here? Hans Georg Schultz: [Leaving barracks, after finding out Hogan's plans regarding the tank] I know nothing! Col. Wilhelm Klink: What are you waiting for? It's of great military importance. If my head is to roll, all heads will roll. You can depend on me, Major. I never could hang on to money. Sgt. He knows what he's doing. : Col. Robert E. Hogan: And then Wagner's brother shoots Colonel Klink. [Myra and Newkirk are being held in a German prison]. Col. Wilhelm Klink: I intend to nail the prosecutor's fat hide to the wall. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [annoyed] Now tell me: was it Tuesday or was it Wednesday? You only thought he was stupid. And I won't have to share credit with Major Hochstetter. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Let's make him unhappy - nasty unhappy. Hogan: [about famous artists] It wasn't until after they were *dead* that they were famous. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: YOU GIVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR A PRISONER? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: You will all stay away from that rocket. [Klink in a casual tone starts reading to himself the captain's orders paper], Colonel Klink: "All ranks are ordered to extend complete cooperation, assist without question. While being heartily congratulated by the painter, painter's daughter, LeBeau & Hogan Hogan asks] How'd you do that? Col. Robert E. Hogan: [watching the women eat at the tea party ] Guests are certainly enjoying themselves, sir. In a few minutes Nimrod will be my prisoner. Hochstetter had several catchphrases, including (referring to Hogan) "Who is this man?" and "What is this man doing here?", and "I will surround this camp with a ring of steel." He would also shout "Baah!" as he leaves the room, when frustrated by the camp's incompetent commanding officer, Colonel Klink. Quotes Field Marshall Rudolf Richter: You have more than one tunnel? Col. Wilhelm Klink: [Col. Klink and Helga are listening to music being played by the POWs] You know, Helga, do you know that the whole of our beautiful national soul, our culture is expressed in "The Ride of the Valkyries?". Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Klink. After service in the Navy during WWII, Caine continued his studies at The School of . Lock us up? Sgt. Sgt. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Thirty days is an cruel and human unjustified punishment, to be inflicted only by a sadist. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Born Howard Cohen in Nashville, Tennessee, he appeared in a Hal Roach Our Gang skit that was being filmed there, and took an interest in becoming an actor. Quotes Col. Robert E. Hogan: Ah, Major Hochstetter, always a pleasure to see your smiling face. So you know I'm not crazy. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Col. Wilhelm Klink: [talking with Colonel Becker] General Burkhalter tells me that you are the commandant of a POW camp, just like me. Col. Robert E. Hogan: You're pulling my leg. We got our rights; we're as good as they are. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Major Hochstetter, Herr General, in charge of security here, and you're all much too close to this rocket. Sgt. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: I have never had any trouble resisting you. [He gives Schultz a feather headdress], Sgt. That's a good one. Col. Robert E. Hogan: I know who the fool is. Hogan:"Last night I dreamt Schultz ate all the dynamites." LeBeau:"With him that's possible." Klink:"I can smell the sauerbraten. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Maybe it's some kind of new secret weapon. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Oh? Freddy is a chimpanzee. Pleasant, no. Who are you? My darling. [in an argument with a captain about safehousing a truck and cargo]. Technical Specs. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Ja, Kommandant Klink, a man who could have been great, except he wasn't very good. I always thought it meant 'Good morning' or 'Greetings, Mate.'
